He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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