you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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