it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Text me some of your sweat
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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