I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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