the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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