Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
