Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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