The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
