I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
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Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
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I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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