That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
