well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize