I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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