Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
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