I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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