I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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