i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
this just has baby written all over it
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
