I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
