Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize