Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
