I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
True strength comes from lack of pants
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
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