If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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