I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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