I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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