I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
