I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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