But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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