You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
