jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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