Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
