i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
