i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
