i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
