problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
