when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
