My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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