so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
