How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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