hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
