we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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