What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
