Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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