at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
this boner is exhausting
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
