This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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