I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
