Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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