omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize