apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
