Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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