Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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