this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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