Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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