It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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