Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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