My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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