Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
