party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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