She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm too high and old for this...
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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