remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
