her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Is it because I queefed?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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