Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
