What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.