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• (229): View more from Georgia

  whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.

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  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?

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• (619): View more from California

  I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.

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  These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?

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• (510): View more from California

  Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.

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