Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.

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(330): so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv. http://tfl.nu/d9vr

Replies (62) Good night (2304) Bad night (718)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,

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(203): these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them, http://tfl.nu/bifo

Replies (13) Good night (970) Bad night (3518)
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(661): View more from California

Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC

(831): View more from California

Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.

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(661): Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC (831): Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown. http://tfl.nu/up2g

Replies (43) Good night (10245) Bad night (983)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.

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(919): DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages. http://tfl.nu/6cym

Replies (16) Good night (3169) Bad night (853)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.

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(403): She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse. http://tfl.nu/lj3p

Replies (16) Good night (5178) Bad night (983)
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(415): View more from California

He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.

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(415): He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal. http://tfl.nu/3jar

Replies (72) Good night (1954) Bad night (6082)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.

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(267): This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything. http://tfl.nu/flqr

Replies (10) Good night (4738) Bad night (1091)
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(630): View more from Illinois

The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.

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(630): The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking. http://tfl.nu/uq3n

Replies (47) Good night (6760) Bad night (1680)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism

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(901): No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism http://tfl.nu/00o3

Replies (4) Good night (2958) Bad night (791)
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(253): View more from Washington

I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks

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(253): I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks http://tfl.nu/tvej

Replies (11) Good night (1203) Bad night (694)
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(713): View more from Texas

Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.

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(713): Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style? (832): You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush. http://tfl.nu/9cao

Replies (3) Good night (471) Bad night (958)
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(214): View more from Texas

Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder

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(214): Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder http://tfl.nu/tsd5

Replies (1) Good night (318) Bad night (514)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.

(541): View more from Oregon

Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.

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(503): Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home. (541): Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on. http://tfl.nu/kn96

Replies (5) Good night (589) Bad night (428)
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(212): View more from New York

She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up

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(212): She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up http://tfl.nu/3zuk

Replies (8) Good night (707) Bad night (340)
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(773): View more from Illinois

Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night

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(773): Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night http://tfl.nu/78ek

Replies (1) Good night (211) Bad night (370)

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