This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
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yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
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You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.