paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
