he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
