i just google imaged poop.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
