i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
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Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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