The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
